Films and Fiction

Films & Fiction Weekly

Have you ever wanted to watch a whole movie while walking? Well now you can. In a special screening of The Long Walk, you spend the entire film on a walking machine, where you need to maintain a minimum speed of 3MPH or else you’re thrown out of the theatre.

Based on Stephen King’s novel, the film is set in a dystopian society where 100 young men take part in an annual event, where they keep walking until only one of them is left, who’s declared the winner and given whatever he desires. So this special screening will put you right into the movie, giving you a chance to experience what it’s like to take part in that contest. At least it’s a novel way to burn off the popcorn.

Whether this is your idea of a good time or not, I think it will become a more common occurrence for movies. Theatres aren’t making anywhere near as much as they used to, and more and more the big hits rely on some kind of gimmick to make big bucks. There was “Barbenheimer” a couple of years ago, and this year the silly “Chicken Jockey” memes made A Minecraft Movie a brief, disruptive success.

Giving people a unique reason to leave their homes and come to the cinema will become more important in the next few years. If they haven’t already, I’d expect the introduction of “influencer friendly” screenings where TikTok addicts can film themselves reacting to the movie with no admonishing from the rest of the audience. We’re already seeing that with screenings of musicals where you’re encouraged to sing along.

It might not be for everyone, but it’s good advertising, and I think people now need more reasons to actually pay to see a movie in theatres, rather than just the attraction of a bigger screen.

Netflix movies make the big-time

I don’t think anyone would consider Netflix to be a serious movie studio. Its films are usually cheap, boring, and designed to be watched while you scroll on your phone. But that might be changing. More and more big-name directors are going over to the streamer, with the Russos, Chris Columbus, Greta Gerwig, Guillermo Del Toro, and more all choosing to make their movies there.

But it’s not just the talent that they’re attracting. Recent Netflix hit K-Pop Demon Hunters has also been a hit at the box office, taking in around $20 million in its opening weekend, and hitting the #1 spot. Granted that’s not a huge amount and it has been the platform’s biggest hit, but it does show the rising power of the streamer. Next year their Narnia film is getting an IMAX release over Thanksgiving, which is quite a big deal. That’s traditionally a good time for family films, with hits from the Harry Potter and Frozen franchises releasing then, so the fact Netflix can get their own children’s fantasy release into the limited number of IMAX screens is a win for them.

Some people think this is a bad thing for theatres, after all, Netflix isn’t tied to them in any way, their main income and audience comes from subscribers, so this is just a bit of fun for them. That’s true, but you can’t expect cinemas to pass up on this either when they need all the success they can get. It’s not like I have any sympathy for the studios either; they hate theatres too, and have tried their best to leech off every bit of revenue to VOD and their own in-house streamers.

They aren’t much different to the big red N. Typically now a movie will arrive on VOD about thirty days after its cinema debut. Once that becomes common knowledge, there’s be little point seeing a movie in its fourth or fifth of week or release, cutting back the window to around three weekends at best. Goodbye sleeper hits.

If Netflix starts to beat out traditional studios, then they are guilty too, and only have themselves to blame.

Is this some kind of Star War?

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if dozens of Star Wars projects entered development, and were suddenly silenced.

But now, it seems that one has actually started production: Shawn Levy’s Star Wars: Starfighter. I don’t know what to think of this. Levy’s a good director, and from the very basic synopsis we’ve got, it sounds like it could be fun. It’s probably the best thing they have in the works, but I won’t get my hopes up. There have been too many bad things made in the last decade; too many terrible films; too many forgettable show; too many stalled projects. They have a lot of trust to rebuild, and I’m not sure they can. Does anyone in the “general audience” know or care much for this movie? I don’t know, but I don’t think The Mandalorian & Grogu will do much to rescue the franchise’s reputation when it releases in 2026.

Then again, rebellions are built on hope, or so random bellboys say, and I suppose fandoms are too.

Alien: Nerf

I have a feeling Alien: Earth will try and make the xenomorphs into poor, misunderstood creatures being bullied by evil humans, the same way everything has done since How to Train Your Dragon. Somehow Wendy can communicate with them and even managed to pet a chestburster. Well, I’m sure they make great pets, but I do wonder why every cool movie monster has to end up this way. This series is already doing lots of damage to the franchise, and hardly even recognises that the aliens should be a part of the story. Maybe it’s time to take off and nuke the entire show from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.